Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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