you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
