how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
