D3 body, D1 cock
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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