I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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