i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
