she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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