I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
