you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
