I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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