24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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