you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
