I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
