She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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