Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
