I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
