I think I am morally bankrupt
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize