grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
