So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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