So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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