Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
