I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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