the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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