Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i've created a new STD.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
