So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
