Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize