I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize