Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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