it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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