Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
