Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
