You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
