MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
