The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
