Non-Jews are for practice
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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