She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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