Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
