You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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