Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
