I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
