yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize