This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this just has baby written all over it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
