Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize