I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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