you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
