I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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