oh god the rape fog is back!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
