well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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