I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We talked him into tasing himself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize