can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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