You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
