Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
