I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize