Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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