Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
