you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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