tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
