It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
