Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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