She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
