My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
