so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm like, not good at living.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
