Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
