just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
